California Connection: A Ritual to Mend My Relationship with the State

Dearest readers,

I hope you are all enjoying moments of beautiful magic as this first week of June unfolds. May you each know peace in whatever place holds you. 💖 If you’re new, please check out this About Page to find out more about this magical space. My work depends entirely on subscribers, so please sign up! And my heartfelt gratitude goes out to those already subscribed. Let’s keep building this amazing community of magic together!

Have you ever felt really misaligned with a certain place? Like, you dread going there and when you are there, you’re anxious and out of sorts?

For me, that place is Southern California.

There’s a big part of me that thinks I should have a better connection with this place. After all, I was born there. So was my dad and my sister and my husband. I also got married there. It’s no stretch to say that I owe a lot of my life to the place.

Still, I have a really bad attitude about Southern California. The sheer volume of people is enough to short circuit my nervous system and I’ve had my fair share of not-so-great (even traumatizing) experiences there.

My husband’s family is from Los Angeles and so we’ve made the drive there from Albuquerque countless times over the last twenty-two years. The most recent few years, in particular, have included many of those not-so-great experiences I mentioned above. So much so, I’ve begun experiencing nightmares and panic attacks in the days leading up to a trip out there.

Which is what is happening as I write this. In less than a week, I’ll be making that twelve hour drive and I can tell that I’m already not handling it well.

This time, our plan is a trip through Los Angeles to visit my mother-in-law and then continue on to spend a vacation week with my family at the beach in Oceanside. I want to go with an open heart. I want to look upon my mother-in-law’s face with nothing but love in this precious remaining time we have with her. I also want to experience relaxing and joy-filled moments during the week that I’m supposed to be on vacation.

But it’s all happening in California. So instead of happy anticipation, I’m already filled with dread. Insomnia and anxiety have arrived right on schedule.

Last night while I wasn’t sleeping, one of my ancestors patiently reminded me that I have a really wonderful spiritual practice I can turn to in times of trouble. (Why is it that it’s always in times of trouble when I need reminding about this?)

So I climbed out of bed and went to my altar. Over the next hour or so, I did a sort of forgiveness ritual with California. It was so cathartic and healing that I want to share it with all of you.

If you ever feel like your relationship with any particular place needs a bit of adjustment, give this ritual a try:

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RITUAL

Bring to your altar a bowl of water; several handfuls of flower petals or your favorite herbs (something native to your location and non-toxic is best as we’ll have the option of pouring them into a body of water at the end); some honey; and a spoon.

• Open your sacred space however you like.

• Invite in your primary helper spirits and ask them to resource you with clearing and protection.

• Now focus on your energetic boundary. Try to really feel this sphere of protection that encircles you. Notice if there are any weak spots and ask your spirit helpers to strengthen this for you.

• Take a few centering breaths.

• Energetically connect with the place you’d like to improve your relationship with.

• Take a large pinch of the flower petals or herbs and bring them close to your face. Speaking aloud, begin to tell the petals or herbs your grievances about the place. Vent your frustrations, speak of your fears, express your grief. Just let it all out into the petals or herbs. Use your intuition to notice when one pinch of petals or herbs is getting “full”. When it is, put that pinch in the bowl of water then grab some more and keep going.

• Once all of your grievances, through the petals or herbs, are now in the water, say aloud something like, “[Name of place], I forgive you for any part you might have played in these experiences and I want to reconnect with you in a more beneficial way.”

• Now take another big pinch of petals or herbs. Speak into this everything that you’d like forgiveness for in terms of your role in the past unhealthy relationship. You might say things like, “I am sorry for holding you in such disregard. I am sorry for blaming you for the actions of others. I am sorry for not approaching you with a receptive heart, etc.” Again, place these petals or herbs into the bowl of water.

• When you feel complete with that, say aloud something like, “[Name of place], I ask your forgiveness for my part in all of this.”

• If you feel called to do so, you may now stir the bowl counterclockwise three times to release whatever held you and this place in a state of unforgiveness.

• Take a moment to feel for a shift in energy, to really notice the energy of forgiveness flowing between you and the place.

• Now take the honey and drizzle it into the bowl, this time stirring clockwise. As you do, speak your intention that the relationship between you and the place becomes ever more sweetened, and that the impact you have on one another becomes ever more beneficial.

• Again, take a moment to let the new sweetness of this relationship seep into your energy.

• When you feel complete, offer gratitude to all your helpers and to the place you named, then close your space.

• If you feel inclined, you can pour out the contents of the bowl into a local waterway or bury it in the Earth, nourishing either with the sweetened bonds of your relationship.

Over the next several days (and especially when you’re next planning to go to the place you worked with), spend a few minutes each day sending love to the place and then being receptive to any messages or energy it might want to send you in return.

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P.S. By the time you read this, I’ll have been through L.A. and will be arriving at Oceanside. For the first time since I began my Substack journey in August of 2023, I’ll be taking a Sunday off from posting and so there will be no Archetype and Tarot post this week.

But I am taking all of you with me to the beach! I keep a Substack altar and every one of my subscribers is represented on it with a stone. I’ve packed you all into my travel altar to do a blessing ritual with the ocean. Let me know if you have any specific requests for the ritual (you can reply to this email, send a DM or leave a comment) and I’ll be sure to include it.

Here you all are, packed into a baggie, ready to go into my travel altar for the trip!

Love and blessings to all of you (and to every place that holds us)!