A Psychopomp Introduction

The dead might not always fully move on when their lives here have ended.

Jan 18, 2024

Several weeks ago, I did a post called Relating with Spirit is a Two-Way Street where I talked about the notion that the dead need the living. The discussion that has unfolded since then has warmed my heart and filled my soul. There are so many of you who have beautiful relationships with ancestors and other beloved dead. Knowing that, I wanted to begin a discussion on the concept of the psychopomp.

The word comes to us from Greek and translates to “guide of souls”. These are beings who help guide the souls of the dead in the afterlife. Some more familiar examples include Anubis, Hermes, Charon, and the archangel Michael. (This page has a thorough list if you’d like to see more examples.)

I don’t pretend to actually have solid answers about what happens when we die. That’s the great mystery, right? All I can do is share what I’ve been told and have experienced with my own spirit team. One of the things they’ve shared with me is that, for a variety of reasons, the dead might not always fully move on when their lives here have ended. This could be the result of trauma, wounding or confusion; or simply a deep attachment to some aspect of life.

A psychopomp doesn’t judge the dead, but can help them retrieve their fragments and get to where they need to go.

Through my work, I've come to understand that being a psychopomp is something any of us can learn to do. In fact, the dead need us to do this, whether their deaths occurred recently or thousands of years ago. If they’re stuck, we can assist them at any time.

Below is a safe and simple way I’ve found to help some of the dead. Before I jump into that, however, I want to take a moment to talk about safety in this work. There are differing opinions on how much protection we really need, but I like to err on the side of caution. Just as I wouldn’t leave the front door of my house wide open 24/7, I would never enter the spirit realms without my boundaries being nice and shored up.

The other important aspect of safety here is to always do the work through a guide that you already trust. If you don’t yet know your primary spirit helper, you can call on your preferred face of the Divine for this.

When we are acting as psychopomps this way, our role is to witness and hold space. Our guide or divinity will be the one making the changes, we simply witness them. As I briefly discussed in the Relating with the Dead post, witnessing the change makes it real in our timeline. This is how we help the dead as well as keep ourselves safe in the process.

It’s quite difficult to do this work for people whose loss we grieve. Our own pain and emotions can make it hard for us to witness the transitions. Given this, I’ve found it best to begin by helping the older dead connected to a place, rather than anyone we knew personally. Below is a ritual for doing just that:

This ritual can be done from your own home as you will be connecting with the dead remotely. If you feel compelled, however, an outing to a specific spot where the dead might congregate can enhance connection. Trust your intuition on this and go where you feel called. This could be a place in nature, a local cemetery (many of which have mass graves of unclaimed dead), or any other area that draws you. A caveat here is to be sure that it is a place where you are safe. You will be journeying in meditative consciousness and so your attention will not be on what is physically happening around you.
Once you are settled into the space you’ve chosen, open your sacred space however you prefer. I like to keep things simple and light candles while making a declaration that this is now a sacred ritual space.
Invite in your primary helper spirit guide(s) and/or your preferred face of the Divine. Offer gratitude to them for their role in your life and in this ritual.
Ask this guide to keep your energy clear and your boundaries strong; to protect and guide you in this process.
Take some deep breaths and feel your energy throughout your whole body. Feel it vibrating from the top of your head, down to the soles of your feet.
When you feel ready, imagine crossing a threshold of some kind into the realm of the dead. For many, this looks like going through a doorway. For me, personally, I descend a ladder into what I call the hearth room. Once you are there, be sure your guide or divinity is with you.
Now, set yourself up as witness. If you’re like me, you’ll need to give yourself an activity of some kind so that you can witness what is happening without interfering. (Yes, even the non-physical, liminal parts of ourselves can want to take control of the process.) What works best for me is to tend the fire in the hearth room. I keep it stoked and add cleansing herbs while witnessing what my guides are doing.
Ask your guide if there are any dead in this place who need help at this time, and then ask if your guide is willing and able to help them now.
If the answer is yes, this is where the witnessing will begin.
It’s okay if you’re not a visual person and don’t actually see what is transpiring. You can witness by knowing, hearing. or feeling too.
First, there will be a period of time where your guide interacts with the one(s) being helped. This is where any counseling or healing takes place. Just let it unfold. I’ve seen all kinds of unexpected and strange things happen in this stage. Trust that your guide knows what is needed and remember that your role is only to hold the space and witness.
When the healing stage is complete, your guide will usher the dead to a place where they can integrate with their wholeness. What I usually perceive at this stage is the dead crossing a river, a valley or canyon. As you witness the dead returning to their wholeness, try to FEEL the integration in your own body. For me, this is the most powerful part of the whole process. This is when I know that the change has truly taken place within the timeline.
When your guide lets you know that the process is complete, come back through the same threshold you entered and be sure it is closed behind you. Offer gratitude (and make any other offerings) to your guide. Ask them one more time to clear your energy and strengthen your boundary.

As with all things, the more you practice this, the easier it will flow. Not only will you be helping these forgotten souls, but you will also be making a big contribution to the spiritual ecology of place. Thank you to all who take on this work! I am so grateful to each and every one of you!

Also, I would love to discuss all things psychopomp, so please do leave a comment below with your thoughts, insights, and questions.

Spirit Connections with Jenna Newell Hiott

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