I have this same dilemma Jenna, "what have you got to complain about?" I know that there are so many teachings that are being shared with me, but like you I hold that frustration. For example, I had a friend who has to have some real belly laughs and 'examples' of how you've been having fun since we last met. We've since drifted apart, one of the reasons because I couldn't cope with the pressure! I feel like I've had this pressure my whole life. Do something to please someone else. I love my life when it's quiet, I'm eating nice food and my husband is by my side. thats enough right? Still working on this!
Hi Jenna, I read this post yesterday, and it really stayed with me.
I think I suffer from the same malady - you sum it up perfectly with this: "Then I get even more frustrated with myself, because, really—what a first-world problem to have. If anyone should feel in love with their life, it’s me. I genuinely have very little to complain about. How can I possibly feel anything other than profound gratitude and love for every moment?" But then I LOVE that your guide asked you, "What makes you think you’re not already in love with your life?"
And your question is brilliant, "How do I, specifically, look when I’m in love with my life?"
But you know what - I've noticed that sometimes a kind of fear comes up in me when I'm in love with my life, because on some level, I know that everything changes. So it's like when I recognize I'm in love with my life, then I have to practice not to clinging to what is, because it's all impermanent.
Maybe this, like so many things seem to - comes back to balance and equanimity...Or maybe I need to practice being in love with my life no matter what is unfolding?😂
Oh my gosh, Camilla, you just spoke right to the dilemma I've been having all year since I began this journey. I fear being in love with my life because, at some core level, I have trust issues with Life (or at least that's the way I've been framing it). As soon as I give my heart over to Life, what's going to keep my heart safe when the other shoe drops? This must speak to a knowing of hurt from the past. We've been through this before with some other face of love. And I do like that we come at this honestly, that we're acknowledging our deepest, truest feelings rather than putting on a veneer of positive, sunshiney, 'I'm always in bliss' energy. That being said, I have been thinking that the call for me is exactly what you wrote at the end of your comment...being in love with life no matter what is unfolding. Again, honoring my deepest, truest feelings, this is going to be really hard for me. I have a joke with my husband where we sometimes tell each other, "I love you anyway." I hadn't realized until just this moment how much I need to apply that to Life itself. Thank you, my friend, for bringing this wisdom to the fore! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so grateful to have you and other writer friends here on Substack to discuss this kind of issue with. Not everyone gets it, but I'm so happy to be connected with you and other writers who think about this stuff🥰💕🙏🕊️
Just this morning I was dwelling on contentment and what that looks like for me and I went through a similar process to what you describe here only to realize that my contentment is everywhere and it rarely looks how I think it should look!
I think I may innately fall into the 'glass a little bit empty' perspective on many things (I blame this on my DNA but perhaps that's a cop-out) so it takes effort to pull out of this to see what's right there in front of me. Also, I think what you describe in this excellent essay is such a part of being human and the key is to fully accept that part of ourselves while at the same time not deciding to live there on a full time basis.
Yes! I think you nailed it! "To fully accept that part of ourselves while at the same time not deciding to live there on a full time basis." I think that is good wisdom for every state of being (even the ones we prefer). Thank you so much for this, Donna! 💕💕💕
Sometimes it is a simple shift of perspective! I really related to this! With all the media, images, dogma, etc. that we have been fed, it is no wonder we don't recognize the simplicity of love when it is in our faces. I definitely fall into this! Love has too much baggage attached to it at times. You brought forward Maria von Trapp, for me it was the many fairy tales, that finding love in one's life meant finding the guy who filled those shoes. Love was about relationship with another. To love my life, to love myself? Well, I did not know what that meant. Today I am more keenly aware that it truly does involve relationship, but it is with life, nature, the world around me and in me. To love another person, I must first love myself! Oh that sounds so hallmark, but it is true! And how does that look? Self-care comes to me first. When I love myself, I take care of myself. I tend to my needs, because they matter. Thanks for your post today Jenna, much food for thought.
This is amazing, Julie! In my personal set of archetypes this month (in this year of invoking being in love with my life), I am working towards The Self. I've been sitting with that pattern, that energy this week. For a long time now, I've been viewing the self as collective, as collaboration, as relationship itself, but had not been applying the wisdom of LOVE to that in the same way as I'd been applying it to the other parts of life. The fact that you brought this up in your comment is kind of blowing my mind. How do I look when I'm in love with myself? The first thing that comes to mind is another teaching of Caroline Myss. She talks a lot about viewing life from "the fifth floor". It's a metaphor for seeing the bigger picture and not getting hooked into the more personal "street level" details of situations. So, this week, I've been doing a practice of viewing myself from the fifth floor. The first thing I thought when I did this was, "Wow, she's doing a really great job!" Maybe the self care I needed was some general praise. Lol. In any case, thank you so much for your comment and bringing the self into the conversation! 💖🤗💖
Oh Jenna! Yes sometimes it is so simple, validate ourselves. I say "ourselves" because I need that too. I can be so hard on myself, perfectionism shows up for me in all those many tests one can do! If I am not perfect (which I can never be), then I chastise myself in some way. SO yes to the 5th floor, getting a greater perspective. Being kinder, gentler, nicer... loving!
Oh how wonderful this is to read...I feel that I fall into both categories...sometimes I'm a bouncing bubble of rainbow light that is so HAPPY with life that I'm BURSTING with it...a waterfall that is overflowing with love that I have to tell people, move, skip, smile out to the greatness of life;
other times, I'm quiet, introspective, assured and calm, still and slow, attentive and mindful and still in love with life...
I am both...I am the calm stream and at times the flowing waterfall.
Jenna, I really love your inner question: "How do I specifically look when I am in love with life?" When I wrote this I also felt I wanted to add for myself "How do I specifically look when I am not in love with life and how can I hold myself in this space?" Because, sometimes I'm not in love with life in any form and to know what I need to feel safe in that opposite space is also for me an important step in self care and self realisation.
Much love to you dear one and thank you for this great post. 💖
Wow, this is so wise, Sam! Thank you! How do I look when I'm not in love with life? We really do need to allow ourselves to feel safe in that place too.
And I LOVE that you bring in the metaphor of water. A calm stream and flowing waterfall. I often check in with myself and ask how my weather/water is. I am often a calm stream too. Sometimes a quiet rainfall. And sometimes, I am in drought. ❤️💕❤️
oh Jenna, the water analogy is so profound...I can relate to that so much..being in drought is just as important as being an overflowing waterfall! I know from experience!! xxx
Oh Jenna...I was born morose. 😊 My father is morose and his father was morose...but they were in love with Nature. And so, my "in love" is rather quiet and unassuming. I literally cannot stand The Sound of Music and if I'm being honest, musicals, in general. 😆
If we should ever meet in person you are entirely welcome to love life calmly, quietly and introspectively alongside me. No arm-swinging and flailing about necessary. ❤
I love the insight about your being in love with life doesn’t look exuberant. I’m exactly the same way. My “in love” is very quiet and peaceful, enjoying intimate moments in relationships and nature. Thank you for sharing. 😊🫶🌹
Thank you, Alysia! 🤗😍 This was such a huge revelation for me. Now I'm starting to look into all the other ways I might've been conditioned by movies from early childhood.
“I’d been poisoned by Maria von Trapp.” Brilliant and hilarious.
😂
I have this same dilemma Jenna, "what have you got to complain about?" I know that there are so many teachings that are being shared with me, but like you I hold that frustration. For example, I had a friend who has to have some real belly laughs and 'examples' of how you've been having fun since we last met. We've since drifted apart, one of the reasons because I couldn't cope with the pressure! I feel like I've had this pressure my whole life. Do something to please someone else. I love my life when it's quiet, I'm eating nice food and my husband is by my side. thats enough right? Still working on this!
Hi Jenna, I read this post yesterday, and it really stayed with me.
I think I suffer from the same malady - you sum it up perfectly with this: "Then I get even more frustrated with myself, because, really—what a first-world problem to have. If anyone should feel in love with their life, it’s me. I genuinely have very little to complain about. How can I possibly feel anything other than profound gratitude and love for every moment?" But then I LOVE that your guide asked you, "What makes you think you’re not already in love with your life?"
And your question is brilliant, "How do I, specifically, look when I’m in love with my life?"
But you know what - I've noticed that sometimes a kind of fear comes up in me when I'm in love with my life, because on some level, I know that everything changes. So it's like when I recognize I'm in love with my life, then I have to practice not to clinging to what is, because it's all impermanent.
Maybe this, like so many things seem to - comes back to balance and equanimity...Or maybe I need to practice being in love with my life no matter what is unfolding?😂
Oh my gosh, Camilla, you just spoke right to the dilemma I've been having all year since I began this journey. I fear being in love with my life because, at some core level, I have trust issues with Life (or at least that's the way I've been framing it). As soon as I give my heart over to Life, what's going to keep my heart safe when the other shoe drops? This must speak to a knowing of hurt from the past. We've been through this before with some other face of love. And I do like that we come at this honestly, that we're acknowledging our deepest, truest feelings rather than putting on a veneer of positive, sunshiney, 'I'm always in bliss' energy. That being said, I have been thinking that the call for me is exactly what you wrote at the end of your comment...being in love with life no matter what is unfolding. Again, honoring my deepest, truest feelings, this is going to be really hard for me. I have a joke with my husband where we sometimes tell each other, "I love you anyway." I hadn't realized until just this moment how much I need to apply that to Life itself. Thank you, my friend, for bringing this wisdom to the fore! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so grateful to have you and other writer friends here on Substack to discuss this kind of issue with. Not everyone gets it, but I'm so happy to be connected with you and other writers who think about this stuff🥰💕🙏🕊️
Haha, the evils of the Sound of Music!
Just this morning I was dwelling on contentment and what that looks like for me and I went through a similar process to what you describe here only to realize that my contentment is everywhere and it rarely looks how I think it should look!
I think I may innately fall into the 'glass a little bit empty' perspective on many things (I blame this on my DNA but perhaps that's a cop-out) so it takes effort to pull out of this to see what's right there in front of me. Also, I think what you describe in this excellent essay is such a part of being human and the key is to fully accept that part of ourselves while at the same time not deciding to live there on a full time basis.
Yes! I think you nailed it! "To fully accept that part of ourselves while at the same time not deciding to live there on a full time basis." I think that is good wisdom for every state of being (even the ones we prefer). Thank you so much for this, Donna! 💕💕💕
Sometimes it is a simple shift of perspective! I really related to this! With all the media, images, dogma, etc. that we have been fed, it is no wonder we don't recognize the simplicity of love when it is in our faces. I definitely fall into this! Love has too much baggage attached to it at times. You brought forward Maria von Trapp, for me it was the many fairy tales, that finding love in one's life meant finding the guy who filled those shoes. Love was about relationship with another. To love my life, to love myself? Well, I did not know what that meant. Today I am more keenly aware that it truly does involve relationship, but it is with life, nature, the world around me and in me. To love another person, I must first love myself! Oh that sounds so hallmark, but it is true! And how does that look? Self-care comes to me first. When I love myself, I take care of myself. I tend to my needs, because they matter. Thanks for your post today Jenna, much food for thought.
This is amazing, Julie! In my personal set of archetypes this month (in this year of invoking being in love with my life), I am working towards The Self. I've been sitting with that pattern, that energy this week. For a long time now, I've been viewing the self as collective, as collaboration, as relationship itself, but had not been applying the wisdom of LOVE to that in the same way as I'd been applying it to the other parts of life. The fact that you brought this up in your comment is kind of blowing my mind. How do I look when I'm in love with myself? The first thing that comes to mind is another teaching of Caroline Myss. She talks a lot about viewing life from "the fifth floor". It's a metaphor for seeing the bigger picture and not getting hooked into the more personal "street level" details of situations. So, this week, I've been doing a practice of viewing myself from the fifth floor. The first thing I thought when I did this was, "Wow, she's doing a really great job!" Maybe the self care I needed was some general praise. Lol. In any case, thank you so much for your comment and bringing the self into the conversation! 💖🤗💖
Oh Jenna! Yes sometimes it is so simple, validate ourselves. I say "ourselves" because I need that too. I can be so hard on myself, perfectionism shows up for me in all those many tests one can do! If I am not perfect (which I can never be), then I chastise myself in some way. SO yes to the 5th floor, getting a greater perspective. Being kinder, gentler, nicer... loving!
Oh how wonderful this is to read...I feel that I fall into both categories...sometimes I'm a bouncing bubble of rainbow light that is so HAPPY with life that I'm BURSTING with it...a waterfall that is overflowing with love that I have to tell people, move, skip, smile out to the greatness of life;
other times, I'm quiet, introspective, assured and calm, still and slow, attentive and mindful and still in love with life...
I am both...I am the calm stream and at times the flowing waterfall.
Jenna, I really love your inner question: "How do I specifically look when I am in love with life?" When I wrote this I also felt I wanted to add for myself "How do I specifically look when I am not in love with life and how can I hold myself in this space?" Because, sometimes I'm not in love with life in any form and to know what I need to feel safe in that opposite space is also for me an important step in self care and self realisation.
Much love to you dear one and thank you for this great post. 💖
Wow, this is so wise, Sam! Thank you! How do I look when I'm not in love with life? We really do need to allow ourselves to feel safe in that place too.
And I LOVE that you bring in the metaphor of water. A calm stream and flowing waterfall. I often check in with myself and ask how my weather/water is. I am often a calm stream too. Sometimes a quiet rainfall. And sometimes, I am in drought. ❤️💕❤️
oh Jenna, the water analogy is so profound...I can relate to that so much..being in drought is just as important as being an overflowing waterfall! I know from experience!! xxx
Oh I love that Sam, "I am the calm stream and at times the flowing waterfall." I feel that too. 💖
Oh to meet another "calm stream and overflowing waterfall"... That makes my heart feel so happy...Sending love to you dear Julie. xxx
Oh Jenna...I was born morose. 😊 My father is morose and his father was morose...but they were in love with Nature. And so, my "in love" is rather quiet and unassuming. I literally cannot stand The Sound of Music and if I'm being honest, musicals, in general. 😆
If we should ever meet in person you are entirely welcome to love life calmly, quietly and introspectively alongside me. No arm-swinging and flailing about necessary. ❤
❤️❤️❤️ I would love that so much! And then we could both try twirling and bursting into song in an ironic way, which would undoubtedly be hilarious. 😂
I love the insight about your being in love with life doesn’t look exuberant. I’m exactly the same way. My “in love” is very quiet and peaceful, enjoying intimate moments in relationships and nature. Thank you for sharing. 😊🫶🌹
Thank you, Alysia! 🤗😍 This was such a huge revelation for me. Now I'm starting to look into all the other ways I might've been conditioned by movies from early childhood.
So true! I also have realized influence of movies I watched growing up. Thinking that’s just the way everyone “should be”.