Thank you for sharing this testimony. Your old dad was present around the time of these events, and I have often shared the traumatic story of sister Mary Rose’s teaching that animals do not join us in heaven. My response to the story is that there is no way that heaven can be heaven without dogs in it. I hope that my response was similar at that time. I feel certain that most humans who have loved a pet (of any species) feel the same way.
I have long been troubled that such a kind and loving teacher as sister Mary Rose would have to present such harmful doctrine to first graders. Your testimony about the feather, the re-stamping, and the “smile and hug” response to your question has done away with that trouble. I join you in gratitude to sister Mary Rose and the hand of the Divine that was ever-present through it all.
Oh my gosh, finding that my dad made a comment here just made my day! Thank you SO much! 🤗❤️ In reading your comment, it makes me wonder about your memories of sister Mary Rose. I bet you remember her much more clearly than I do. When we're next together, I plan to pick your brain about it (just so you're prepared 😁). Thanks again for commenting. This really is a treasure for me! I love you!
This story ushered me through a full spectrum of feeling. I was not raised Catholic, but I was raised in the American South where black and white is the order of the day--literally in the sense of segregation and blatant, violent racism and figurative in the sense of perspective. Reading this story kicked up some of that early childhood confusion and wonder about why this was so. And Sister Mary Rose’s turn here showed me the salvation in one adult’s willingness to see through the eyes of a child. My grandmother was my Sister Mary Rose, and walks in the woods to her house as a child birthed my own spiritual beginnings. I think about those walks so often today. I wonder how far the distance was truly. It seemed like a journey through another place and time, all the world flickering with aliveness, and me seeing and enveloped--embraced--by it at one and the same moment. I met God in the deep crevices of South Carolina dry, cracked mud, in the wave of a fern frond in springtime, the apparition of a bird moving in a bush.
So beautiful, Renee! And thank you so much for reading this! I love glimpsing your spiritual beginnings in those woods. My husband and his family are from South Carolina, going back to colonial times. (I thought I recognized that in your accent.🤗) How enchanting it is that you found God in nature there. There is something so ancient and ripely feminine about the land in the south, maybe especially South Carolina (that's been my limited experience anyway). It's sensually spiritual. I would so love to hear your grandmother's stories of life in the woods there. I bet she was deeply connected to it all. And I can so clearly see that reflected in you.
I think perhaps you’ve already read mine Jenna... I love thé way you’ve written yours, so much more a gentle guiding...
Though I was unaware at the time, my Sundays with those nuns whose names I never knew, a far cry from your own sweet Sister Mary Rose, inspired me to search further into the huge vast space that I now know falls under the heading of spirituality... and for that reason I am grateful.
And, of course there are such things as spotted birds, I saw one just this afternoon! A greater spotted woodpecker...! X
I remember that your experience with the nuns was not sweet and I'm sorry for that. I only attended Catholic school through third grade and am grateful that my limited experience was, overall, a good one. I actually had more "bad" experiences in the protestant church, but, like you, I'm glad for all of it because I found SO much more. I just did a search for the greater spotted woodpecker and fell in love! What a beautiful soul. I love to think of him flitting around your hill, pecking a delightful rhythm into various trees. ❤️
I want to swap my childhood experience for angels stamps of approval because this smol overachiever strove for no recognition her entire life ._. anyway, that's such a good question, and I'm not sure I have an answer because I feel like I have always questioned authority, but also in a way I never have until 2020.
Or, I guess I have always had some strong convictions about there being more to life than what I saw other people living as. According to my mother I was a very spiritually connected child until at least 5, then she can't say what changed and neither can I.
But whatever triggered it, it made me somehow need the appeal to authority to validate that I was right to feel the way I felt, so I guess my pre-Saturn Return spirituality was largely a quest for somewhere that agreed with my feelings to some extent, and then I had so much grappling with the side of things I disagreed with until the disagreement was such that my conscience demanded I walked away and learnt to stand on my own authority even if an unpopular decision to many of the people in my life.
Being raised with the idea one thinks too highly of themselves is such a damaging thing for a child. I have barely scratched the surface of undoing that damage...
Hi Alexis! Thank you for sharing this with me! ❤️ Validation is such an important thing. I'm no expert, but I kinda think that if we were regularly validated by loved ones (and spiritual authorities), we wouldn't have to go searching for it. It doesn't make us weak, it lets us know that we matter and we belong. At least that's my feeling about it anyway. I'm sorry the road has been rough for you, but I'm really glad that your own path is meeting you now. Your authenticity shines through your words here and, to me, that's the very best thing!
When I was ten I told my parents I did not want to go to Sunday School anymore, actually I did not want to go to church either. None of it made sense. As a child if felt uninspiring, full of memorizing the books of the bible and the like. It was the woods surrounding where I lived that I felt alive! Where I could get lost in the play of it all. Jesus did inspire me, just not through the Chrisianized church. When I fifteen I saw the Broadway musical in New York, Jesus Christ Superstar. That was an invitation to question the story. This telling of the Jesus's life was different. And I loved it. I spent that whole summer after moving to California listening to the album of it. I felt Mary Magdalene and Jesus, they both came to me in amazing ways. Telling me of their love and the true story of that time. Life was not the same after that, and it has led me down some amazing avenues, even to this day.
Jenna thanks so much for asking, that was fun to revisit. And I truly loved your story. The polka-dotted feather, what an amazing gift. And what unfolded afterwards,. was true grace!
Jesus Christ Superstar! I love it! My college roommate and I would listen to that soundtrack over and over again (because we were the cool kids 😂). The outdoors always felt more like church to me too. It still does, now that I think of it. I love imagining little girl Julie finding god in the woods. You were a luna gal even back then! ❤️
I love this Jenna and can definitely identify with the wanting to overachieve! I was going to think of something more recent and this came to mind and I knew it was what I was supposed to share. Long before I was placed on my spiritual path I was going through a rough time. I remember lying in bed one night and just asking over and over again for help. I suddenly heard this great whoosh and what can only be described as the flapping of huge angel wings. It went on for quite sometime and was the first time I remember thinking that my prayers had been answered. Thank you for reminding me of this miracle. 🙏💫
Oh my gosh, that gave me chills, Louise! So beautiful. That is a miracle indeed. I can imagine what solace it must've been. Not only to know you were heard, but then to feel so held by angel wings. Thank you for sharing that with me! ❤️
I adore this story, Jenna...and as I read it I imagined all of the polka-dotted feathers I was going to Google and send to you...as, there are many, many birds with polka-dotted feathers. Sister Mary Rose sounds like a pretty alright lady...as a former educator myself, I especially respect her willingness to admit she was wrong and apologize...I'm also especially pleased that she revised your angel stamp. ♡
Oh, yes please, Jessica! I'm imagining receiving your box filled with all the polka-dotted feathers. They will cover my altar in polka dot splendor! ❤️❤️❤️ Sister Mary Rose really was pretty great. She was indoctrinated for sure, but so willing to be open and kind. After my first grade class, she went to Uganda as a missionary where I believe she spent the rest of her life. My little school would receive letters from her for a few years and I remember being riveted as the principal read them to us. She certainly made a lifelong impact on me.
For me, it was when I really sat down and thought about the root of the church’s objection to LGBTQ+ people, that they’re not going to have babies the traditional way. That made absolutely no sense to me, and that conviction only grew out later as I dealt with my infertility. So since I can’t get pregnant, I don’t deserve to be in a loving romantic relationship? Yeah, that was the biggest crack of many.
Yeah, that's a huge crack for sure. I never could get behind an institution that was so conditional about love. I remember another time when I was a teenager, the preacher actually said that only a mother's love is unconditional and that a father's love has to be earned (he was including his idea of God as a father). Like you said, that made no sense to me at all. And couldn't understand why so many people were signing up for that belief system. Thank you so much for being here and commenting, Cecilia! ❤️
Wow amazing and thank you for sharing. I can’t recall what got me on my spiritual path but my opinion about organized religion is that it’s bunk. No judgment to those who practice it and believe in it while not attempting to proselytize as it is their truth but it is definitely not mine. I know after I had my daughter is when I started getting into tarot and astrology and it snowballed from there.
Thank you, Miriam! Oooh, yes, motherhood is a huge initiation. Thank you for that insight. My entire path changed course too when I was pregnant and then all through motherhood. I distinctly remember that being pregnant is what sealed the deal for me, in terms of belief in the spirit world. Feeling that life growing inside me left no room for doubt. Thank you for reminding me of that! 🤗
Wow. This is really powerful. Thank you. To answer your question at the end - the first thing that happened to make me believe in something Greater (I was raised in an atheist household so opposite of what you experienced yet here we both are 🌟❤️) -- it was when I got sober from heroin. I had just gone to jail for burglarizing a home. I got out and went to my first 12 step meeting. The first person I locked eyes with at that meeting was the man I had just robbed. (He knew I did it too hence me being in jail lol). I thought he woulda killed me, but he hugged me and told me he was glad I was there. That was the first time in my life I felt forgiveness and redemption. This is the very vague short version, but 14 years later, that man is a friend to me to this day. He’s still sober too. I had no idea he was in recovery before that day either. There are many stories but that was the first one.
As far as questioning everything - I kinda always did, since I can remember, but I got “red pilled” when I was 16 and the rest is history and a lot of censorship 🤣
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, Tesstamona! ❤️ Your story brought tears to my eyes. How beautiful and powerful! The strength, courage and willingness of both you and that man is truly inspiring. I'm so glad we found our paths and each other, even with your atheist and my christian upbringing. Life is kind of amazing sometimes!
It truly is. Its beautiful how we find our way back, regardless of where we started and the barriers we faced. Definitely not an atheist today, far from it. Not part of an organized religion either though. There is so much room in between it is infinite. Thank you for your work, I really enjoy your posts!
The only path I can come up with right now - as far as a spiritual path is when I was in Methodist Sunday School. My parents took me to church and early school every week. I began asking questions that could not (or would not) be answered by the teacher. As years progressed, I entered high school and still, in Sunday School I asked the most reasonable questions, but still no answers. By the time I graduated, I decided to stop going to church regularly and look for the answers for myself. Bingo, there it was! My path. Thanks so much for sharing your early childhood memories.
This is a great story, so filled with lessons and care! I can't quite remember what made me start to question my spiritual beliefs. I've run the spectrum of being raised in the church, walking away, questioning, turning to all other kinds of spirituality and coming back to embracing everything. I also don't recall the first time I got a very clear spiritual sign, although now they are, thankfully, abundant.
I do recall being in a bookstore with a friend when I was in my early 20's and he suggested I read The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I can picture where we were and our discussion around the book which, I believe, shifted my way of thinking and being for the rest of my life.
"...coming back to embracing everything." I LOVE that, Donna! ❤️ That's pretty much my path these days too. Somehow I managed to miss The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. I remember it was suggested numerous times in a book group I used to belong to, but we never did get around to reading it. If it had such an impact on you, my friend, I'm putting it in my queue right now! 🤗
It's interesting...it's an old book and there has been so much written in that genre since that time. With all due respect to the book and it's author it may not have the impact it held back then when it was more groundbreaking work.
Yes! ❤️❤️❤️ You've found a kindred soul here! My ancestors ARE my spirituality. Where they guide me, I follow, which means my soul holds a lot of traditions, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you so much for sharing your path with me!
Thank you for sharing this testimony. Your old dad was present around the time of these events, and I have often shared the traumatic story of sister Mary Rose’s teaching that animals do not join us in heaven. My response to the story is that there is no way that heaven can be heaven without dogs in it. I hope that my response was similar at that time. I feel certain that most humans who have loved a pet (of any species) feel the same way.
I have long been troubled that such a kind and loving teacher as sister Mary Rose would have to present such harmful doctrine to first graders. Your testimony about the feather, the re-stamping, and the “smile and hug” response to your question has done away with that trouble. I join you in gratitude to sister Mary Rose and the hand of the Divine that was ever-present through it all.
Oh my gosh, finding that my dad made a comment here just made my day! Thank you SO much! 🤗❤️ In reading your comment, it makes me wonder about your memories of sister Mary Rose. I bet you remember her much more clearly than I do. When we're next together, I plan to pick your brain about it (just so you're prepared 😁). Thanks again for commenting. This really is a treasure for me! I love you!
Jenna,
This story ushered me through a full spectrum of feeling. I was not raised Catholic, but I was raised in the American South where black and white is the order of the day--literally in the sense of segregation and blatant, violent racism and figurative in the sense of perspective. Reading this story kicked up some of that early childhood confusion and wonder about why this was so. And Sister Mary Rose’s turn here showed me the salvation in one adult’s willingness to see through the eyes of a child. My grandmother was my Sister Mary Rose, and walks in the woods to her house as a child birthed my own spiritual beginnings. I think about those walks so often today. I wonder how far the distance was truly. It seemed like a journey through another place and time, all the world flickering with aliveness, and me seeing and enveloped--embraced--by it at one and the same moment. I met God in the deep crevices of South Carolina dry, cracked mud, in the wave of a fern frond in springtime, the apparition of a bird moving in a bush.
Beautiful, stirring piece. Thank you.
So beautiful, Renee! And thank you so much for reading this! I love glimpsing your spiritual beginnings in those woods. My husband and his family are from South Carolina, going back to colonial times. (I thought I recognized that in your accent.🤗) How enchanting it is that you found God in nature there. There is something so ancient and ripely feminine about the land in the south, maybe especially South Carolina (that's been my limited experience anyway). It's sensually spiritual. I would so love to hear your grandmother's stories of life in the woods there. I bet she was deeply connected to it all. And I can so clearly see that reflected in you.
I think perhaps you’ve already read mine Jenna... I love thé way you’ve written yours, so much more a gentle guiding...
Though I was unaware at the time, my Sundays with those nuns whose names I never knew, a far cry from your own sweet Sister Mary Rose, inspired me to search further into the huge vast space that I now know falls under the heading of spirituality... and for that reason I am grateful.
And, of course there are such things as spotted birds, I saw one just this afternoon! A greater spotted woodpecker...! X
I remember that your experience with the nuns was not sweet and I'm sorry for that. I only attended Catholic school through third grade and am grateful that my limited experience was, overall, a good one. I actually had more "bad" experiences in the protestant church, but, like you, I'm glad for all of it because I found SO much more. I just did a search for the greater spotted woodpecker and fell in love! What a beautiful soul. I love to think of him flitting around your hill, pecking a delightful rhythm into various trees. ❤️
I'll post the link, it'll be quicker
https://open.substack.com/pub/elliotmurray/p/a-sorceress-full-of-secrets?r=yj6nd&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Thank you for sharing this, Elliot! What an amazing experience!
Life is amazing, we just need to adjust our eyes and see.
I want to swap my childhood experience for angels stamps of approval because this smol overachiever strove for no recognition her entire life ._. anyway, that's such a good question, and I'm not sure I have an answer because I feel like I have always questioned authority, but also in a way I never have until 2020.
Or, I guess I have always had some strong convictions about there being more to life than what I saw other people living as. According to my mother I was a very spiritually connected child until at least 5, then she can't say what changed and neither can I.
But whatever triggered it, it made me somehow need the appeal to authority to validate that I was right to feel the way I felt, so I guess my pre-Saturn Return spirituality was largely a quest for somewhere that agreed with my feelings to some extent, and then I had so much grappling with the side of things I disagreed with until the disagreement was such that my conscience demanded I walked away and learnt to stand on my own authority even if an unpopular decision to many of the people in my life.
Being raised with the idea one thinks too highly of themselves is such a damaging thing for a child. I have barely scratched the surface of undoing that damage...
Hi Alexis! Thank you for sharing this with me! ❤️ Validation is such an important thing. I'm no expert, but I kinda think that if we were regularly validated by loved ones (and spiritual authorities), we wouldn't have to go searching for it. It doesn't make us weak, it lets us know that we matter and we belong. At least that's my feeling about it anyway. I'm sorry the road has been rough for you, but I'm really glad that your own path is meeting you now. Your authenticity shines through your words here and, to me, that's the very best thing!
There is no such being as coincidence 🥰
There really isn't! I recently learned the acronym: TANC (there are no coincidences) and now I wonder how I lived without that all my life. 🤗
When I was ten I told my parents I did not want to go to Sunday School anymore, actually I did not want to go to church either. None of it made sense. As a child if felt uninspiring, full of memorizing the books of the bible and the like. It was the woods surrounding where I lived that I felt alive! Where I could get lost in the play of it all. Jesus did inspire me, just not through the Chrisianized church. When I fifteen I saw the Broadway musical in New York, Jesus Christ Superstar. That was an invitation to question the story. This telling of the Jesus's life was different. And I loved it. I spent that whole summer after moving to California listening to the album of it. I felt Mary Magdalene and Jesus, they both came to me in amazing ways. Telling me of their love and the true story of that time. Life was not the same after that, and it has led me down some amazing avenues, even to this day.
Jenna thanks so much for asking, that was fun to revisit. And I truly loved your story. The polka-dotted feather, what an amazing gift. And what unfolded afterwards,. was true grace!
Jesus Christ Superstar! I love it! My college roommate and I would listen to that soundtrack over and over again (because we were the cool kids 😂). The outdoors always felt more like church to me too. It still does, now that I think of it. I love imagining little girl Julie finding god in the woods. You were a luna gal even back then! ❤️
You just made me giggle! Yes I was Luna girl back then, thanks for seeing me!
I love this Jenna and can definitely identify with the wanting to overachieve! I was going to think of something more recent and this came to mind and I knew it was what I was supposed to share. Long before I was placed on my spiritual path I was going through a rough time. I remember lying in bed one night and just asking over and over again for help. I suddenly heard this great whoosh and what can only be described as the flapping of huge angel wings. It went on for quite sometime and was the first time I remember thinking that my prayers had been answered. Thank you for reminding me of this miracle. 🙏💫
Oh my gosh, that gave me chills, Louise! So beautiful. That is a miracle indeed. I can imagine what solace it must've been. Not only to know you were heard, but then to feel so held by angel wings. Thank you for sharing that with me! ❤️
I adore this story, Jenna...and as I read it I imagined all of the polka-dotted feathers I was going to Google and send to you...as, there are many, many birds with polka-dotted feathers. Sister Mary Rose sounds like a pretty alright lady...as a former educator myself, I especially respect her willingness to admit she was wrong and apologize...I'm also especially pleased that she revised your angel stamp. ♡
Oh, yes please, Jessica! I'm imagining receiving your box filled with all the polka-dotted feathers. They will cover my altar in polka dot splendor! ❤️❤️❤️ Sister Mary Rose really was pretty great. She was indoctrinated for sure, but so willing to be open and kind. After my first grade class, she went to Uganda as a missionary where I believe she spent the rest of her life. My little school would receive letters from her for a few years and I remember being riveted as the principal read them to us. She certainly made a lifelong impact on me.
I love your beautiful story Jenna❤️🙏🕊
Thank you, Camilla! ❤️
For me, it was when I really sat down and thought about the root of the church’s objection to LGBTQ+ people, that they’re not going to have babies the traditional way. That made absolutely no sense to me, and that conviction only grew out later as I dealt with my infertility. So since I can’t get pregnant, I don’t deserve to be in a loving romantic relationship? Yeah, that was the biggest crack of many.
Yeah, that's a huge crack for sure. I never could get behind an institution that was so conditional about love. I remember another time when I was a teenager, the preacher actually said that only a mother's love is unconditional and that a father's love has to be earned (he was including his idea of God as a father). Like you said, that made no sense to me at all. And couldn't understand why so many people were signing up for that belief system. Thank you so much for being here and commenting, Cecilia! ❤️
Wow amazing and thank you for sharing. I can’t recall what got me on my spiritual path but my opinion about organized religion is that it’s bunk. No judgment to those who practice it and believe in it while not attempting to proselytize as it is their truth but it is definitely not mine. I know after I had my daughter is when I started getting into tarot and astrology and it snowballed from there.
Thank you, Miriam! Oooh, yes, motherhood is a huge initiation. Thank you for that insight. My entire path changed course too when I was pregnant and then all through motherhood. I distinctly remember that being pregnant is what sealed the deal for me, in terms of belief in the spirit world. Feeling that life growing inside me left no room for doubt. Thank you for reminding me of that! 🤗
Wow. This is really powerful. Thank you. To answer your question at the end - the first thing that happened to make me believe in something Greater (I was raised in an atheist household so opposite of what you experienced yet here we both are 🌟❤️) -- it was when I got sober from heroin. I had just gone to jail for burglarizing a home. I got out and went to my first 12 step meeting. The first person I locked eyes with at that meeting was the man I had just robbed. (He knew I did it too hence me being in jail lol). I thought he woulda killed me, but he hugged me and told me he was glad I was there. That was the first time in my life I felt forgiveness and redemption. This is the very vague short version, but 14 years later, that man is a friend to me to this day. He’s still sober too. I had no idea he was in recovery before that day either. There are many stories but that was the first one.
As far as questioning everything - I kinda always did, since I can remember, but I got “red pilled” when I was 16 and the rest is history and a lot of censorship 🤣
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, Tesstamona! ❤️ Your story brought tears to my eyes. How beautiful and powerful! The strength, courage and willingness of both you and that man is truly inspiring. I'm so glad we found our paths and each other, even with your atheist and my christian upbringing. Life is kind of amazing sometimes!
It truly is. Its beautiful how we find our way back, regardless of where we started and the barriers we faced. Definitely not an atheist today, far from it. Not part of an organized religion either though. There is so much room in between it is infinite. Thank you for your work, I really enjoy your posts!
The only path I can come up with right now - as far as a spiritual path is when I was in Methodist Sunday School. My parents took me to church and early school every week. I began asking questions that could not (or would not) be answered by the teacher. As years progressed, I entered high school and still, in Sunday School I asked the most reasonable questions, but still no answers. By the time I graduated, I decided to stop going to church regularly and look for the answers for myself. Bingo, there it was! My path. Thanks so much for sharing your early childhood memories.
Thank you, Melissa! 🤗 It's all about the questioning, isn't it? I'm SO glad you found your path. The world is far better for it! ❤️
This is a great story, so filled with lessons and care! I can't quite remember what made me start to question my spiritual beliefs. I've run the spectrum of being raised in the church, walking away, questioning, turning to all other kinds of spirituality and coming back to embracing everything. I also don't recall the first time I got a very clear spiritual sign, although now they are, thankfully, abundant.
I do recall being in a bookstore with a friend when I was in my early 20's and he suggested I read The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I can picture where we were and our discussion around the book which, I believe, shifted my way of thinking and being for the rest of my life.
"...coming back to embracing everything." I LOVE that, Donna! ❤️ That's pretty much my path these days too. Somehow I managed to miss The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. I remember it was suggested numerous times in a book group I used to belong to, but we never did get around to reading it. If it had such an impact on you, my friend, I'm putting it in my queue right now! 🤗
It's interesting...it's an old book and there has been so much written in that genre since that time. With all due respect to the book and it's author it may not have the impact it held back then when it was more groundbreaking work.
Yes! ❤️❤️❤️ You've found a kindred soul here! My ancestors ARE my spirituality. Where they guide me, I follow, which means my soul holds a lot of traditions, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you so much for sharing your path with me!