The Archetype and The Tarot: The Wounded Child and Two of Pentacles
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The Wounded Child Archetype
As you may have guessed from the name of the archetype this week, we’re going to be looking at our wounds (again). If you are already feeling raw or overwhelmed, or are going through a particularly challenging time, please practice kindness with yourself here. You can always come back and revisit this later if now is not the right time.
The Child is another one of the archetypes that Caroline Myss calls the survival archetypes (the others are the Victim, the Prostitute, and the Saboteur). These are archetypes that we all relate with frequently, and are intimately tied up in our physical survival. Through them we deal with things like safety, integrity, independence and self-esteem.
The Child is on a journey of coming to understand independence and interdependence; and can wear many faces along this path. Some of these faces are The Orphan Child, The Divine Child, The Nature Child, The Eternal Child, etc. For this week, we are specifically looking at The Wounded Child.
Every one of us experienced wounding in our childhoods to varying degrees. Some were traumatic, some less so, some overt and obvious, and some were subtle and insidious. Whatever they were, they informed the foundation upon which we built our patterns of dependence (and interdependence) on others.
On the light side, I see The Wounded Child growing up and learning to integrate their wounds. They expand their wholeness around their wounds like a self-hug, incorporating them into their healthy adult selves. They become both the wound and the antidote so that they don’t need to form unhealthy dependencies on others (people, substances, activities, etc.) to fill this need for them. It is the journey from identifying with the wound to accepting it as just one part of the whole self.
In the shadow, The Wounded Child, might become hyper-independent and push away all relationships out of a fear of being wounded again. On the other side of this extreme, they might become dependent on the wounds themselves for a sense of identity. We can recognize if this is a pattern for us if we find we continually need our pain validated and can only connect with others through telling the story of our wounding. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with expressing our pain or needing validation. This is about taking it to excess. It’s when we’ve let The Child be in charge and make the relationship decisions. We don’t really want a child to run the show. Instead, we can parent ourselves so that The Child feels stable and secure enough to mature into an adult with a healthy take on dependence.Â
Some questions to ask ourselves this week:
Am I choosing to not integrate my wounds? If so, what am I getting out of this?
Is there any part of me that feels safer in a co-dependent relationship (versus a relationship of healthy dependence)?
Is my Wounded Child making relationship decisions for me?
What do I need in order to be able to integrate my wounds?
Two of Pentacles
In this card, we see a person juggling two big pentacles in a lemniscate (infinity symbol) pattern. They appear to be balancing on one foot and there’s a churning ocean in the background with little boats being tossed on the waves.
What I usually think of when the Two of Pentacles comes up is that the Universe is giving us a gentle reminder that we might be trying to hold too much. We’ve only got two hands and if we throw anything else into the mix, the seas of life could get a little rough. This card also comes with the wisdom that when we get ourselves grounded and centered (put both feet on the ground), we’ll realize it’s safe to put down some of our burden. And we’ll know exactly what we’re ready to put down.
How do these two work together?
With this pair, I see the image of the figure in the Two of Pentacles trying to juggle the pain from their childhood wounds, but being wounded all over again with every pass. When they finally allow themselves to plant their feet firmly in the present, they see that they can let the pain fall away.
Again, be gentle with yourself this week. When you feel ready, ask yourself:
Am I holding onto pain that is now safe for me to let go of?
If it feels good for you to share, I’d love to discuss your journey this week and support you in anyway I can.
Yesterday, I asked myself what is the past? A wounded past is a fixed, unchangeable thing. It has a negative identity and doesn't flow into the present. I am old and done with this low frequency associated with my particular family.
The child as hyper-independent is interesting, and I need to sit with that ideal (translation: #truth)